Hidee-Ho Everyone!

So I'm right behind MK as he heads to the Men's Room. He goes to the urinal, I head to the Handicap Stall, walk in and walk out.

Because? There's a real, live, Mr. Hankey on the floor, sitting there on the floor, 3 feet from the toilet, waving at me, and saying, "Hidee-Ho, Mr. Blogger."

"MK, MK, go look in that stall!" I say.
"No. I'm peeing."
"Come on, come on."
He does, and walks out, grossed out.
I notice he didn't flush the urinal.

It doesn't take long before it's all over the office. And there's rampant speculation on who it could have missed the toilet by that much. But I try to remain above it.

K. took a picture of it on his digital camera. If he emails it to me, I will post it. Dimensions: About 3/4 of a Milky Way.

Which reminds me that there was an episode of The Office much like this.

Lotto Out of Control

Days til Lotto Draw: 2

Days til Retirement: (see above).

Boss Z started a $2 pool. Aflac Here has a $5 pool. So I started the Super Cheapo Super Lotto pool. By Invitation only. Cost? 25 cents.

It's officially closed and we've got 8 people. Do you know how many people's heads will EXPLODE if we win? All for the cost of 25 cent. Priceless entertainment.

Lotto redux

The Mouth's main pool - $3 rollover got 0 numbers. The other main pool with $24 won $0.

MK, Mr. Suduku, unbeknownst to all, went in a pool by himself. How did we find out?

This morning, he says, "So...how does this Lotto thing work?"
You should ask the Mouth, we suggest.
What do you mean? We ask seriously.
"Well, I bought a $5 ticket and I think I got a few numbers. Do I win anything?"
How many numbers?
"Two across, and three #s vertically."
Yes, I said, you win double on the vertical #s.

But seeing how he got more #s then all of the Mouth's pool put together, it was brought up that he should buy the next ticket. Seeing how he's good with numbers, too.

But he's only good with numbers 1-9.

Lotto update

So the numbers just came out and The Mouth and her main pool got 1 number and the Mega to win $3. Split 24 ways, that's a grand total of 12.5 cents per person BEFORE TAXES.

So how did our Alternative Bizarro (no MOUTH allowed) Pool do? We got 1 number to win 0 dollars.

Lotto Fever

Mega Millions has reached something like $150m. A lot of the office plays in a pool. About 24 people. They never win. Well, actually, they do win, like a dollar or two, which they roll over, if no one has won the Big One.

There's 4 or 5 of us who never play. We decided to play this time, excluding The Mouth, and picking the numbers based on their numbers.For example, we picked the numbers they didn't have, like the numbers before and after their picks.

Oh my God, the Mouth is gonna be Pissed if we win. Most likely, we win nothing, or worse, we'll win like a couple of thou which we won't be able to hide from the rest of the office.

I don't care about the money. It's just that I'll do anything for a laugh. Pretty cheap thrills for a $1.

happy v. day

MK: promoted his Special Lady Friend to Girlfriend, sent a vase and bouquet of flowers to her office.

What i see on his monitor: he's Photoshopping Valentine card for his cat.

T. Monkey (our office mascot): has a diaper, a special lady friend of his own (a stuffed White Monkey), a heart shaped balloon and a heart shaped pillow that says, "Let's Monkey Around."

Supervisor Z.: Wondering how come he's the only unattached guy in the office. "Even the T. Monkey has someone!" he said.

Thursday

34: Number of Medium Sudokus MK has completed since Jan. 17.
3:39: Personal best time.

Tonight's dinner from: The Naked Fisherman

On the tube: Jeopardy, Simpsons, Survivor, My name is Earl.

Yummy Cupcakes: It's been 4 days, 2 hours since we had a Yummy Cupcake.

intro

... so there's One in every office (if you're unfortunate, there's more than one). the Smart Ass. That's me. And this is my blog.

This is what happens in my office. It's like that BBC show, The Office, only NOT as funny. Not even as funny as the American version, either.

At the end of the day, I tell the wife, The Loon, "Nothing funny happened at work...", and I always leave something out. So I decided to write it down. Many things are not self-explanatory, and they'll stay that way.

One final thing: this blog is habit-forming. So you've been warned. Okay, here we go.

MK, not his real initials. I said, they're not his real initials, dammit. MK's Sudoku Count: 3. But the day's still young.

Cookie Monster: I caught him in the Men's Room, doing the "Piss and Run." AGAIN. No stop at the wash basin. No water. No Soap. The cool thing is that he's a real friendly guy. Loves to pat people on the back, and double dip into the community cookies and snacks.